Ladies, ignorance is bliss.
Don't you find your stupid friends seem perpetually happier than your PHD from MIT, MBA from Harvard and Undergrad at Oxford friends? Yeah, thought so.
When shopping for make-up, before I decide I'm going to listen to the the saleswoman, I take a look at her make-up. If it looks good, I'll listen. If it looks positively drag queen like, I'll stop listening to her and listen to myself or I'll move along.
When I'm going on holiday, to help me decide on which the most accurate up-to-date guide books are, I'll see what they have to say about the cities I know like the back of my hand. If what they say is accurate I'll buy the book for the city I'm going to, if not, I'll move along (Lonely Planet and Time Out usually come out on top)
Before you start driving yourself to an early grave as you find out your new love was an axe-murderer, google yourself. If the information you find on you is 100% accurate (and it almost certainly isn't) then fine, take whatever is written about him as the gospel truth.
Truth's friend, the one that met the guy online, there's every possibility he's attached, but then again the information might just be out of date. Stop beating around the bush and just ask him. He might lie, he might tell the truth but more than listening to what he says, watch his reactions. Fidgeting, looking down at the floor, away from you, touching his face, breaking out in a sweat, changing the subject, refusing to answer are all signs that he's lying.
Truth's other friend, who found copies of the divorce document online. First of all, that type of thing is not easy to find so maybe she should think about moonlighting as a private detective as clearly that woman has snooping skills! But divorce is bitter, ugly, usually acrimonious, so chances are most people won't want to go into the sordid details of the demise of what was at least, once upon a time a loving relationship.
As everyone gets older, there's a lot more baggage carried, a lot more skeletons in the closet. Some you'll be told about, some you'll find out about but just make sure you focus on what's important to you. Don't let a dark past cloud a bright future. Every relationship every single person has is different as no two people are the same. Different people bring out different sides of all our personalities. Think about it, you've been different with different people, and chances are the ones that bit the dust were the ones that brought out your more negative qualities.
The world is full of player haters, nobody wants to believe anybody else can have a good thing going, especially if its with a 'bad guy' or 'bad girl'. There's a difference between bad people and people who do bad things. (And if you're sitting there like the Virgin Mary thinking you never do anything bad, you're lying to yourself, just be clear on that.) Why is it every time someone meets someone new, people start looking for the dirt on either party? Let them get to know each other in their own time and leave all the 'he said she said' in Atlanta. And if you've just met somebody new and your friends are giving you lots of he said she said, try as hard as possible to listen to your gut instincts on what you need to believe. And like the make up and guide book examples I gave, before you listen to your friends who are sharing the 'gospel truth' with you, take a look at them and how they conduct their lives...bed of roses or pile of poo?
So while the truth can set you free, remember curiosity killed the cat.
Quite cool..it is very thoughtful like uhit the nail on the head. Thanks for stopping by....
ReplyDeletefirst time here
ReplyDeletenice............very nice
@ Ifeoma...glad you like it. Make sure you keep coming back.
ReplyDelete@Ibiluv...thank you.
Hi, thx for coming by my blog. Yours is interesting.
ReplyDeleteha! This is very important you all...we are more blessed now then our parents days, we have the ability to do background check so easily, with the internet and multiple online social communities, it's a shame more people don't take the opportunity to do a quick check, when it comes to finding that possible lifelong partner. More and more individuals are getting into relationships and getting burned by their so called "boyfriends or girlfriends" when all the headache could be prevented. It is about time to start looking at dating in an innovative, time -saving, emotional stress-free way. Do your background.....more importantly, give feedback to others when you come across a non-recommendable individual, please share your experiences and post a few references too..LOL! seriously, help your sista girlfriends out there that are still looking for that special someone, by eliminating the repeat offenders :-).
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