A divorced man may or may not be a blessing for new galpal. If ex-wifey did a good job of making him a real man before she left then.. good news for you! If she left broken and tired or without any luggage because it was easier and quicker to do so then… move on sista!
At this point I will say that if the man is a known wife beater, serial philanderer or murderer then there really is nothing much one can do with this sort of man so once again, keep walking!
Anyway back to the matter at hand; how do we ensure we get the right kind of divorced man? I have heard women say it’s better if he had no children because this would mean less money for yours, or he will always have his former wife in his life, but is that really the worst thing that can happen? Isn’t good to see what he is like with children and how generous he is?
Or people say try and find out what happened between them because he might be no good. How do you do this and must it always be his fault? You can ask him but will you get a straight answer or the truth? Most times you only get to hear one side – his! If you are lucky and you hear about her through the grapevine you must be careful to take it all with a pinch of salt but observe him through it all. If he is still friends with her watch their relationship very closely. It will tell you a lot about him. The answers are often right in front of us but we choose not to see.
Very importantly don’t forget the psychological damage that a divorce can bring though - there are men out there whose wives have left them because they met someone else, or because they couldn’t support them. Even the bastards can suffer from damage – it is only human. Find out how long he has been divorced for and if he has dated since.
What I do know for sure is that when a man tells you who he, is or shows you who he is, best believe him - married, divorced or single. Don’t make excuses for him but take it that the real him did that. If a man doesn’t look after his kids and gives lame excuses about an ex who won’t let him, accept that he is a dead beat dad. You see real men every day going to such lengths to find their kids or men in court trying to get visitation rights.
Some people married young and did end up with the wrong person. Some just plain don’t know what they want or what they are doing. The key thing is to keep your eyes wide open. Listen carefully and try to gather information from his friends and siblings once you are on that level. Watch the way he is with his family and friends – that also tells you about how generous he is or how kind.
Just because someone is divorced it doesn’t mean they are bad people. There are lots of singles out there who are terrible and don’t want to settle down. There are some serial marriers too but if you don’t want to be a victim then proceed with caution.
I have heard good and bad things about people who have ended up with divorcé’s. Give him a chance, keep in mind what you want but...don’t make excuses for him..
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